When we lose a loved one, we look for ways to express our sympathy and support for the family of the deceased. One way we can show our condolences is by writing an appropriate letter or message expressing our deepest sympathy. This article will help you learn how to write condolences in an empathetic and comforting way.
Understanding the meaning of condolences
Condolences are an expression of our grief, sympathy and support for a person who has lost a loved one. At the time of loss, it is important to show that we are with the mourner and ready to support him in a difficult time.
Finding the right words
- An expression of regret
When expressing condolences, it is important to show that we understand the depth of the loss. We can use words such as “I am distraught to hear of your loss” or “There are no words that can fully express what you feel right now.”
- Shared memories
It is worth sharing the memories of the deceased, which can be a comfort to the mourner. For example: “I will always remember how your father was a warm and smiling person.”
- Words of support
Zaproponuj swoje wsparcie w trudnym czasie. Możesz napisać: “Jeśli będziesz potrzebować kogoś do rozmowy lub pomocy, jestem tutaj dla ciebie”.
Expressing empathy in a letter of condolence
- Choosing the right tone
Your letter should be written in an empathetic tone, expressing respect and understanding for the mourner.
- Expression of support
Make it clear that you are ready to support the mourner in any way possible.
- Avoiding clichés
Avoid using standard phrases like “I’m sorry” or “Accept my condolences.” Try to write something more personal and authentic.
How to write a letter of condolence
- Starting the letter
Begin the letter by expressing your shock and sadness at the loss.
- Remembrance of the deceased
Share your memories of the deceased person. You can write something like, “I remember how he always smiled at people and could brighten up anyone’s day.”
- An expression of sympathy
Express your deepest sympathy. You can write, “I’m going through this painful moment with you” or “I hope time helps ease the pain you’re feeling right now.”
- Support offer
Offer your support in a practical way, for example: “If you need help organizing a funeral, let me know, I’ll be happy to help you.”
- The end of the letter
End the letter of condolence with words of support and once again express your deep sympathy.
How to write condolences in the form of an email
- Introduction
Begin the email by expressing your grief and sympathy to the recipient of the message.
- An expression of sympathy
Make it clear to the recipient that you are thinking of them during this difficult time and are ready to help them.
- Sending support
Offer your support and listen to the needs of the mourner.
- Completion of the email
End the email with words of support and an assurance of your closeness in thoughts.

How to express condolences in person
- Getting ready for the meeting
Before meeting the mourner, prepare yourself emotionally and think about what you want to say to him.
- An expression of sympathy
Take your time, express your heartfelt sympathy and offer your presence for support.
- Presence and support
It is worth sitting with the mourner, listening to him and being ready to help in a practical way.
Condolences in times of pandemic
During a pandemic, many people are forced to express their grief and sympathy remotely. It is worth understanding that sending a letter, e-mail or conducting an online conversation can be equally important and support for the mourner.
When to send condolences
There is no definite answer to this question, but it is worth sending condolences as soon as possible after the death of a loved one. However, if you’re not sure when to do it, it’s better to do it later than never.
What flowers for a funeral?
Flowers are often used to express sympathy at a funeral. Wreaths and bouquets are the most popular, but the choice of flowers may depend on culture and tradition.
The art of supporting the mourner
During mourning, it is important to support the mourner in both practical and emotional ways. You can help him with his daily duties or just be there, ready to listen.

How to write condolences? Here are ready-made examples of condolences:
- Condolences examples. Beautiful and touching words after death.
- Condolences for a father. How to write condolences after father’s death?
- Condolences for a mother. How to write condolences after mom’s death?
Frequently asked questions about condolences
- How long should a letter of condolence be?
There is no specific length, it is important that it is sincere and empathetic.
- Is it possible to send condolences by e-mail?
Yes, especially these days, an email can be an appropriate way to express sympathy.
- Should I mention the deceased in a letter of condolence?
Yes, the memory of the deceased can be a comfort to the mourner.
- What to say to someone who has recently lost a loved one?
Feel free to express your sympathy and ask how you can help.
- Do I have to send a condolence card to a funeral?
Nie jest to obowiązkowe, ale może być uważane za wyraz szacunku i współczucia.
Expressing condolences is an important act of empathy and support for the bereaved. There is no one “correct” way to express sympathy – it is important that it is sincere and genuine. Remember that support and closeness during a difficult time can be one of the most valuable gifts we can offer. However, it should be remembered that how to write condolences depends only on you!
How to write your own text for an urn or coffin?
so-called personalizing an urn or coffin is often done with an engraved plaque. It is a beautiful way to express love, longing and grief after the loss of a loved one. Many ready-made examples can be found in the section: ‘Personalization of the urn‘.

Writing your own text for an urn or coffin is a very personal and important act that allows you to express respect and love for the deceased person. Below are a few steps that can help you write the right text for an urn or coffin:
- Choose the right words: Think about what words best express your feelings towards the deceased person. Do you want them to be short and clear sentences, or maybe a more extensive text describing its features and importance in your life?
- Memories and Values: You can use text that describes shared memories that will stay with you forever. You can also highlight its valuable values that have had an impact on your life.
- Short and simple: Sometimes a short but clear text can be just as powerful as a longer one. Choose the words that are most important to you and that best express your feelings.
- Emotions and respect: Remember that writing a text for an urn or coffin is a sign of respect for the deceased person. Express your feelings in a way that is personal and truly reflects your relationship with her.
Examples of texts for an urn or coffin:
- “The memories will last forever. We love you, [deceased name].”
- “Gratitude for shared moments. Rest in peace.”
- “Your kindness and love will stay with us forever. You will always be in our hearts.”
- “You will always be in our thoughts and hearts. Rest in peace.”
- “Our beloved [deceased person’s name], you will always be in our hearts and memories.”
Remember that the text for the urn or coffin should be unique and reflect your personal feelings towards the deceased person. Choose the words that mean the most to you and that will help you remember her life and legacy.
How to write condolences is often a very individual matter. Take these as hints, not guidelines!
How to write condolences? – FAQ
- What are the most important elements of condolences?
The most important thing is to express regret, sympathy and offers of support.
- What should I do if I don’t know the deceased person personally?
It is worth writing a short letter of condolence expressing your sympathy.
- Is there an appropriate time to send condolences?
There is no clear answer, but it is worth doing it as soon as possible after the death of a loved one.
- How can I show my support to the family of the deceased?
You can help with daily chores, listen or send a letter of sympathy. It is important to show that you are available and ready to help in any way possible.
- Can we send condolences via email?
Yes, it is acceptable and convenient to send condolences by email these days, especially if we cannot meet in person.
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